I keep having these flashbacks of moments in my life that seem like a whole other world. That’s what scary about life, is that when people come and go, it’s like you are shifting from world to world and apart from memory – there’s nothing to say it never happened. Even the moments and memories I keep, are nothing but hazy dreams with nothing to link them together.
Sometime I wonder, How did I get here? Somehow I am lucky enough to be almost exactly where I have always wanted. Apart from the fact I am brunette, I am pretty much the person I aspired to be at my age.
I always knew that leaving school was all I needed to become who I wanted to be. I just felt such a barrier, but not from the studying side – from the people. Change is sometimes what you need to become who you really are. Sometimes people can put you in a box, and it’s hard to get out of. It’s hard to be different when every one is expecting you to be the same.
I always love the feeling of change, it’s always so fresh and unfamiliar. I guess thats why I like break-ups. As much as they always hurt for a bit, making that huge change gives me a thrill. Now I sound like a bitch, but hear me out. Because honestly, when breaking-up is for the better, which it almost always is unless you are perfect-for-each-other-forever-and-ever, it’s always a good thing. I somehow always see the good in change and maybe that’s not a good thing but I like to think it is.
I’m always looking for the future, so I guess that’s why I’m so caught up in making the right decisions. If I figure out that there’s something in my life that shouldn’t be there , it’s gone as soon as I decide.
I don’t know what happened to this post, but it sure got out of hand. Oops.